October 12, 2011
I have seen marriages fall apart because words were spoken, tones used, that cause gaping holes and wounds unrecoverable. I have seen children grow into adults with no self esteem because words from their parents still haunt them, I have seen broken people, all over the world struggling with things that were once spoken to them in hateful ways, or worse, in indifferent ways. There is nothing worse than receiving difference from someone you love. I have been at the receiving end of that and I have seen the damaging affects of that.
When I think of my life with Tim, when I think back over our years together I think of the things he says and I can honestly say that his words are always of love, always filled with a deep respect of me, and because of that I know that I am loved, I can trust him because his actions match his words. Do we fight? Of course, what two people who live together and have two children don't? The difference is that we do everything we can to make our words and actions count. We do our best to let the other person know that we love each other, and we do our best to show respect to each other. Do we fail sometimes? Sadly yes we do, but we have a lot of good things to counter act the words we sometimes utter. However, there is always always room to improve. I have used words of frustration with my kids when they are throwing the twentieth freak out of the day, anger and pure frustration causes me to yell, and that just isn't the best reaction for an adult, so this Blog post is for me as much as it's for the readers. It is a reminder to use my words wisely to guard my words well because the last thing I want to do is hurt someone I love because I have given in to frustration, or used a tone that is demeaning and disrespectful. It's also a reminder to apologize for my bad behaviour when I slip up. So that they know immediately that I was wrong, not them, that I was not truthful, that I didn't mean it. It won't take the sting out of the words but hopefully a day at a time my actions will prove to them that I do love them, that I believe in them, that I think they are the best things to happen to me.
My challenge this week and every week in the future is stop and think about what I say, before I say it, and to let each of them men in house know that I love them, respect them and think they can do ANYTHING that they set their minds and hearts on. I want to be the kind of woman who says what she means, and above all to give them men in this house the respect they each deserve and need.
Words don't just hold the power to damage, they also hold the power to heal, saying sorry, honoring someone with words, saying you are proud of someone, telling someone you love them, pointing out the areas that you think are special about them... those words have power too. Let that be the weapon we wield to destroy the negatives that the people we love hear in their lives.