Photographs by Laurie @ Horizons Photography

March 31, 2010

All we need

What a week and a half it's been. While I can't say what I have been up to due to privacy issues I will say that it's been a tough week for a number of reason. I have not done a minute of work out nor have I had a real chance to pay attention to my diet. That being said, all I ate last week was a bowl of yogurt for breakfast, a Tim Hortons bagel for lunch a bag of sunchips for dinner and LOADS of coffee to get me through. Today is the final day, and for all parties concerned I am so happy about that.

While this has not been about me in anyway, I have been forced to think through many different things and I have learned alot about myself, my God, and my family. I have learned how blessed I am to have parents who love me, even when we annoy each other there is never a doubt of our love. I have seen for myself how great God is. How loving he is, how infinately sovereign and wonderful he is. How he cares about the biggest hurts in life, and the smallest little details like finding parking spots when you need one. I have learned that he gives strength when strength is needed and a powerful hand to guide and correct when that too is needed. I have learned that anger can be righteaos and healing, that love sometimes needs to use a firm hand and tough words, that laughter can be cathardic and tears can bring people closer. I have learned that God will never leave us alone, that when everyone we love abandons us we will turn and see Gods face in a new friend, that honesty and loyalty are sometimes different, and that hate is not possible without once having loved, and that indifference is the worst of all crimes when coming from someone you love. I have learned that secrets destroy, that shame kills, and guilt is a slowly spreading disease.

Most importantly, I have discovered a new truth in the gospel, a new hope in the cross and a profound love in my God. He is all we need, we may want more but he is all we need.

March 18, 2010

Speech Therapy & Stuff

Twice, sometimes three times a week I drive the same route to St. Pauls on Bloor St. I go there for church on Sunday, I go to a Moms & Tots group on Wednesday and I have been parking there on Thursdays and then walk to Speech Therapy. I drive the same roads every single time. I repeat that particular piece of information because it's important, you need to know that I am very familiar with that drive, at all different time of the day, all different days of the week. It's the same route that I take in order to get to Sick Kids hospital and as you know I have gone and continue to go there on a fairly regular basis. My point, I know where the speed traps are!! I have seen all the hiding spots that the cops favour, I have even been caught in one shortly after moving here. So, the sneeky little buggers are changing it up on me! I got busted, and what did I say when I rolled down my window... "you changed your hiding spot!" Luckily the cop had a sense of humour and even dropped my ticket down to 10 over so that I didn't lose any points. Still, what right do they have to do that to a person, especially on a nice day when you are almost always going to be driving faster!

That being said... it was the last session for speech therapy tonight... someone made chocolate chip cookies... I ate one. :(... I suck!

I did learn a few things, interesting things about language and books. Did you know for example that there are different books for different stages of language? That books can be made a part of playtime and you can use props to make the books come alive, that books shouldn't only be used as a tool to calm your child down before sleep. Did you know that you should never read the book and get frustrated when they want to turn the page? That you should follow their lead, even if that means that you only read two of 10 pages? That if your child points to word you shouldn't just automatically fill in the word for them but try to get them to say it using different tricks. (ie. fill in the blanks, choices, or as a last ditch effort to simply ask them what it is.) All these things I should probably already know... but I didn't. It was interesting! I also learned that in general toys that make noises, a truck that beeps for examply, are horrible for building language. Your child should be doing the beeps, when the car does it all that really happens is that the truck becomes a cause and effect toy. (We have alot of cause and effect toys!) This is also true of books that make sounds and music. It was a really great lesson tonight, and I thank God that I had the chance to take this course. It will not only help me teach Josh how to talk but it sets things up so that I can teach Kaleb as well.

So, it's now 11:00 or shortly thereafter and I am exhausted! It's time to go to sleep because as we all now know... in just a few short hours Josh will be driving a truck over my head and poking his fingers in my ear! Good night all!
Josh & Charlie = Love, Hate relationship. Josh loves Charlie and has no fear of him, but he torments the poor thing. Stealing his toys in a desperate attempt to tempt him to play. Showing him his cookies, hoping to convince him to chase him, then when the dog goes for the cookie, Josh pops it in his mouth. Charlie, loves Josh but can't figure out how to get the kid to leave him alone. He growls and nips but Josh laughs, he hides behind me, Josh climbs over me. If Josh gets hurt though, Charlie is there, and together they explore the house, the backyard and generally get into trouble together. Brothers. I can only hope that one day Kaleb and Josh too will be such good friends.
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March 17, 2010

New things

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Kaleb, my heart warms when I think of his chubby little legs and sweet smile. He is in that stage of life where everyday there is something new to discover, a new thing to achieve, and a new sound to make. I used to think it would be boring, lying around all day with nothing better to do than poop, pee, eat, sleep and yell at will. I wonder though, what would it be like if every day you discovered something new, every day you learned how to do something different, and everyday someone who loves you was there to spend time with you and cuddle you and help you when you needed it. What would life be like if we actually tried to live like that? If we set out to learn new things everyday, spend time with our loved ones, or tried something we have never tried before... Just a thought.

Day 2

So, last night was a wash out in the sleep department. Then early this morning Josh did everything in his power to get me to wake up. There was a truck being driven over my head, fingers in my ear, my blankets were being stolen, even the alarm clock got turned on... I eventually caved and came downstairs for my first of many caffine fixes today. We had my in laws stop by for a visit this morning, and then I took Josh to sick kids for an appointment. (I look forward to never having to go to that hospital again, although they are amazing at what they do!).

I should mention that I passed a Tim Hortons at the hospital, my normal habit is to get a large coffee, and a few timbits. Today, I walked right on by, not even a coffee! I think the hardest thing for me is going to be drinking all that water!! WOW, I can't remember the last time I drank 2 litres of water in a day, if I even have is the real question. I think I will be living in the bathroom until my body gets used to this.

Now, Josh is sleeping, Kaleb is sleeping, the dog is sleeping, Tim is at work... and I wish I was sleeping but alas... I am going to work out. Then have a BIG glass of water and when the boys wake up I will be heading to the park to enjoy todays perfect weather.

"Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time."

Mark Twain
... and finally, my sweet little Kaleb.
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Couldn't say it better myself!
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This is Joshua, we attempted to teach him to skate...
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March 16, 2010

12:00 am didn't used to be late...

I still look back fondly on the nights that I stayed up simply because I chose to stay up, when midnight was still early and a good sleep in meant getting up at noon. I don't think I properly revelled in those days and nights, in fact I daresay I took them for granted. These days my youngest is staying up until midnight with teething issues and my oldest is waking at dawn with the sun... and somewhere in between I am supposed to get enough rest to actually want to clean the house, play with the kids, run errands, serve at the church, shower, eat, spend time with my husband... and of course look after myself with proper eating and working out. Who knew that once you grew up you were expected to emulate Super woman?! :) The joy of it is though, that at midnight when I put a sleeping Kaleb down in his crib, I get to watch his eye lashes rest gently on his cheek, his mouth tugging at this tiny thumb which is lodged between his lips like a lifeline, and I get to feel a love that no one can possibly know until they too are staring down at the sweet perfection that is there child. Then just a few short hours later, you get the joy of hearing your 2 year olds steps race towards your door to see you, to hug you and to spend time with you. When else in his life will I be the person he wants to see first thing after he wakes up? Not too far into the future I will be rested, but I will go to bed to loud music, slamming doors and grunts that pass as 'good night', then I will be forced to fight them out of bed in the morning, beg them to eat breakfast and hope that they get to school on time... In those moments I will look back on these days and think to myself how I took it all for granted...
Work out # 1 is finished! I feel good... tired... but really quite good!

It starts

5 months ago I had my second child... somehow I now weigh more than I did when I first had him. I keep telling myself, today is the day I will work out, make better food choices... but inevitably I sit on the couch with some sort of snack. I bought an excersize machine that I promised to work out on everyday.. then I got sick and then the kids got sick. Always a reason, always an excuse.

No more! I am tired of being overweight and not having anything to wear. I am tired of feeling the need to cover up in front of my husband because I am ashamed of my body.

Today is a new day! I am about to do my first work out of many, you are going to be my accountability partners. I will blog about my progress, I will be honest about my diet and I will be truthful if I don't work out. These are all promises that I will make... and hopefully we will have fun in the process. :) Stranger things have happened!! :)

First, let me tell you about me. I am Laurie, my husband is Tim and my two boys are Joshua and Kaleb. Joshua is two now and was born with a heart defect that nearly took his life, he has undergone 3 cathederizations and one open heart surgery, he's suffered a stroke and an untold amount of pain in his brief time here. He's strong, brave and such a joy to have in my life.

Kaleb is 5 months old. In later pregnancy I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and put on bedrest. Finally they took Kaleb via C-section on October 9th. It took a good 8 weeks for me to recover from the surgery and the high blood pressure that went along with the pre-eclampsia.

During this time I got into some bad habits with food. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and I didn't excersize! So, it begins here and it begins now. No more procrastination! Let the work out and blogging begin!