May 12, 2020

noisy silence



Sometimes we find ourselves in a place of stillness and the silence can be deafening. I think the world is finding itself there now. We have so many things that we know need to be done, could be done but if you are like me the noise of the silence is distracting. As a rebellious soul I find it hard to focus on the things I could be doing but and would rather do all the things that I can't do. The truth is though, if I really think about it, I'm not doing anything different from normal aside from seeing friends and taking part in church and school activities with the boys. I miss those things for sure but teaching them here at home has been a form of fun as well. Life is certainly different but there are a lot of things to find joy in if we look. My boys are fighting less, they are learning quickly that they are each others friend, not just a brother and that is something that will follow them for their entire lives. I am able to sit and teach each kid on a one to one basis and as a result I have seen each one grow in confidence and knowledge, about things they are actually interested in. It is fun to hear them giggle with each other as they have mock battles upstairs, or have long political talks with them about things they are hearing and seeing on the news. Yesterday we discussed the Black Lives movement, the why and the reasons although neither boys could understand why it was an issue to begin with (which makes me hopeful for our future). They are the minority in their school and it's a good thing, they fully accept all people, all races, all genders and I love that they don't understand why people treat people differently because of their skin colour or gender or religion and it breaks my heart that I have to tell them that there are people in the world that don't feel the same way. It led us to other conversations, deeper ones about the world and it's brokenness, the pain, and suffering that we will all eventually have to face, most likely multiple times and Kaleb pulled out a story that we read a few nights ago from Aesop's Fables:

The Oak and The Reed

The mighty Oak tree grew by a river. One day a fierce storm knocked the tree down. After the storm ended the Oak tree was amazed to see the river reeds were still standing, and he asked them how this was possible. 
"It is simple" one reed replied. "when the wind came, you were too proud to bend even a little, but I know that I am only a humble reed, so when the wind blew I bend over. That is why I am still here"
And so we learn that it is better to bend than to break.

So as I sit in the noisy silence,  I need to allow my heart to hear the beauty in the daily grind of boredom, I have to see the fun in what we can do and stop looking for things I can't do. I need to be less like an Oak tree, and much more like the river reed.

L

P.S. I was featured as the author spotlight of the month at Word Alive Press this month - check out the blog by following this link! Word Alive Press Blog