October 9, 2017
Today in my memory app there were obviously a lot of posts about a special young man in my life, a sweet little Kaper who happens to be our Thanksgiving baby. Each post went something like "I can't believe my baby is one already... WOW, Kaleb is already 2, where have the years gone, Kaleb is no longer 3,4,5,6 and today, he's no longer 7. I shouldn't be surprised, each year I someone look at him and feel surprised that he's taller, older, more articulate, but that's life really right? The thing is, he's my baby, my youngest and last; and it comes home with each year older he gets. There is something else that happens each year though, this amazing transformation of the baby, toddler, boy... a human who I have the absolute pleasure of watching emerge as a man. I watch him and feel so much pride in the person he's becoming. The kid who stops playing if someone is hurt and runs over to make sure they are okay, the kid who prays for peace when his friends are fighting, the kid who hurts when the world hurts, the kid who finds every bug, no matter how small and wants to bring it to me as a gift, a show of pride?, (maybe it's like a cat with a mouse? - still haven't figured this one out as I HATE BUGS) the kid who can be causing trouble while smiling at you and with sparkly eyes tell you how much he loves you so that it's impossible to be annoyed about the mess. The kid who comes with me on a photoshoot as my assistant and manages to calm the clients, ease the tension they feel, find the perfects spots for shooting, and manages polite conversation like a pro. This kid is going places, I just can't wait to see where.
Today as I reflected on his birth with him, I reminded him about how he was our gift from God for Thanksgiving; so that no matter what happens in life we will always remember to be thankful for the gifts we have been given and I was taken back 8 years ago to the moment when they took Kaleb out in the OR and put him close to my face, he sucked on my nose and my heart grew to a size I thought impossible. The hole in his heart that they feared was there was pronounced healed and the pediatrician in the room looked at me and announced that he was a healthy baby boy. What a wonderful gift, what a beautiful memory. I don't have many memories from that day, I was pretty sick and some of my memories are mixed up or just stories that Tim has told me to fill in the blanks but those two memories are clear as day, I can still see the doctors eyes look into mine as he made his announcement and I can still see little Kaper's eyes as he sought me out, like he knew deep down that I was his Mama and that he was home.
There will never be a time when I don't wonder that they two amazing little people came from my body, there won't ever be a time when I don't realize how blessed I am that God is working in their lives and is there to help me raise them, there is never going to be a day that I breathe on this earth that I don't love them with everything in me, that I won't fight for them and pray for them and move heaven and earth to be the best mama I can be for them, even if it hurts.
I am so thankful for you, for your life, your heart, your passions, and joys, for the love that you show to each member of our family, for the wonderful conversations and bountiful snuggles. You cheer me, you encourage me, you take interest in me the way most children don't with their Moms. I am so fascinated by you, and genuinely interested in the person you are and will be. There is no way for you to know how much I love you until you have kids of your own one day but I do, so much. I want to wish you a happy birthday and to say thank you for the joy, the laughter, the love. You are truly a wonderful gift!
Happy Birthday! All of my love,