October 25, 2011
The trouble with allergies is they can strike when you least expect it... one minute everything is fine and the next you are dealing with hives, vomit and in the worse cases with swelling of faces and airwaves. It's scary, like knowing there is a time bomb living with you that could leave you devastated and you have no idea who is holding the detonator or when they will choose to use it. It starts with a hive, then more, then puffiness around the eyes and if we are lucky it stops there, but more often than not it moves to his lungs, causing vomiting, wheezing and other signs of respiratory distress. All these things are common with food allergies, Kaleb certainly isn't the first kid with severe allergies, in our circle we know about 4 kids with various allergies. No, he's not alone, but he is our baby and so with every attack we fear, with every hive or wheeze we get a hitch in our breath and we watch closely, Epi at the ready. In some ways it's a waiting game, and until we know what all his allergies are (in February) every time we give him something to eat, we have to wonder.
A staple in our home is the meds that will keep Kaleb alive should anything get through the wall defense we have set up. Unfortunately we can't get it all and for some reason we are now in the throws of yet another attack, though admittedly this is not a full on anaphylactic attack. My heart just can't stand to see him suffer, to watch him lie on the couch with no energy, no will to get up, for him to look at me with that desperate look in his eyes begging me to make it all better.
We have been blessed with two wonderful boys, but they are both determined to remind us regularly how blessed we are and what a gift they are.
One day I hope that we can find some miracle drugs for Kaleb, a shot or something, that will cure him of his allergies, or at least take away the life threatening attacks. I have so many hopes as a Mum that I never would have had on my radar just 4 years ago. It seems so surreal to me that 6 years ago I was in Europe and my biggest problem was a broken relationship with a guy what wasn't right for me anyway, and the issue of where to move to next. I think back on that time fondly because what bliss it would be to only have to worry about what country in the world I want to move to next? I was so young and silly back then, I am almost embarrassed by it.
While I say that I have to think about where I am now, and I should make it clear that I would change NOTHING. I am so happy with the way things turned out, and there would never be a part of me that wished for something else or regretted the path that has led me to this person I am becoming. While not perfect I am being sculpted and I can't wait to see the outcome!