Holding On

Today I dressed Josh in his new clothes, styled his hair just right, packed his backpack with everything he may need for JK, and then we made the trek to school for the first time. Thankfully we had someone willing to watch Kaleb while we were out so I was able to stay close for his first day, great news is that he didn't need me. In fact, trying to distract him from school long enough to get a kiss goodbye was tough. I stood at the door watching him settle in to his seat, a big smile on his face and a part of me wanted to grab him back, hold on a little longer. He's grown up so fast it's hard to believe.

Tomorrow we will make the trek again only this time we will take Kaleb with us and I will have a baby to hold as I leave. What I wonder, will it be like when Kaleb goes to school? What will I do with myself? I suppose other mothers do it regularly and I should 'man up' as my husband likes to say, but there are days when I wish they would stay young forever.

I was a touch sad as I wandered around downtown waiting to go back and pick him up, feeling a little at odds with having so much time to myself. It was a surreal feeling. Then I went back to the school to pick him up and when he saw me his little face lit up and he raced into my arms, and I remembered, he's still young, he's still my little guy and no matter how big he gets, he will always always be my baby, and for the moment I need to enjoy him as he is. Tough to remember sometimes, when I am wanting to hold on so tight but in the end a total necessary reminder because at the end of the day I don't want to miss a thing because I was so busy worrying about them growing up on me.