If I were to look back over the past year and tell you all the things that I have learned I would fill a book let alone one tiny little Blog post, it's been a year that I would have happily glanced over at times, a year that was filled with moments I would rather not have had, a year that brought some tough lessons. Yet, here I sit on the precipice of 2011 and I can proudly tell you that had it not been for this past year I wouldn't be the woman I am, so where does that leave me? Happy.
Life lessons can be hard sometimes, and though we have times in our lives where things look grim my guess is that if we were to look back, not just a glance but real look we would all find the moments that we would never have wanted to miss. Those moments when though they were hard they taught us valuable lessons, or brought unsought after joy. I sometimes forget that, forget to take the time to look back.
In 2005 I began an important journey, one that led me to discovery of who I am and who God wants me to be. I began a road to healing and recovery from a lot of hurts and painful things, but I look at that year and I see this... God met me there, in that year I learned the love of my saviour and what it means to really know joy in pain and healing from old wounds. 2006 brought me back to Canada, after a rough start I again began to discover a new that God has a plan, a loving plan that is meant for good. I learned to be content, with whatever I have, with whatever I don't have. 2006 I met my husband and discovered a love that I had only dreamed about, a love that I rejoice in every day, a love that has seen me through some incredibly tough times. 2007 I married my best friend and discovered that we would be starting our family. It was a year of joy and bliss with a few worries tucked in for good measure. It was at the beginning of 2008 that we welcomed Joshua into our lives, with open arms and hearts we learned what it means to love unconditionally, what it was like to love so much it hurts. 2008 was one of the hardest years of our lives, struggling with being new parents, newly weds and the parents of a very ill child. We saw Joshua through 3 catheter procedures, one stroke and an open heart surgery and through it all we held onto each other and God in a way that still brings tears to my eyes. No one could have told me that I would be there in that place and still feel love and joy in the midst of it. It was in 2009 that our little man Kaleb entered the world and more importantly our family. He was and is a great gift, I still remember the doctor checking his heart just moments after his birth and pronouncing him healthy! What a gift when only months before there was a possible hole in his heart!! 2010 we bought our first home and saw Josh through another open heart surgery and now, sitting here in on my couch in my new home I see all these things and I rejoice!
We will have tough times ahead, I have learned that nothing is guaranteed, but we have each other, and we have hope in a Father who loves us deeply and will see us through whatever may come next. In just one hour we will welcome a new year, we have hopes and dreams and some of them will be realized and some of them will be dashed. We were never promised an easy road in this life, but I have discovered this...
In each moment we can choose to look up, we can choose to enjoy the small moments. A smile from our child, a hug from a friend, a touch from our spouse, a word, a step, a good laugh and yes, sometimes even a good cry. No prayer is left unanswered, but sometimes the answer is just a wait, or maybe even a no. God isn't someone out to get us, to punish us or hurt us but rather he is the only one who will stand beside us in all his majesty and weather the storm with us, sometimes shielding us from the rain and sometimes, knowing when to step back a little so that the rain will cleanse us and turn us into his warm and dry embrace.
Happy New Year! May your year be filled with an abundance of blessings and joy and may your face continue to look up to find the sunshine!