Photographs by Laurie @ Horizons Photography

March 19, 2012

I don't have a clue!


How do you sum up a part of your story that has transformed you and left you a new person in 5 minutes or less? How do you share an intimate part of yourself with a group of strangers and tell them what something important means to you in 5 minutes or less? I have been thinking about this for days now, all week actually. I was asked to speak at Sick Kids to a group of people that have corporations involved in the Miracle Foundation and who will be making strategic plans about how their company plans to raise money. They want me to talk for five minutes about Josh's story. So short when I sit down to write what I have to say! I ask again, how on earth do I sum it up?

Last night I had a dream. I was sitting with a woman who was facing some terrible problem, (I don't know what it was) she was broken, crying, in terrible amounts of emotional pain. As I sat with her I began to tell her a story, the story was about Josh but the reality wasn't really reality. You see, in the dream I watched Josh being born, and I watched as the doctors took him away, only he wasn't alive in the dream. He hadn't survived. In the dream I  began to cry endlessly, tears formed a pool at our feet, and the woman and I held onto each other, comforting each other, clinging to each other.

When I woke up, my heart was not sad as I thought it should be. There was guilt there as I realized that I should feel terrible about this dream. However, as I started my day I began to see that the dream wasn't about Josh really, it was about his story. It was about how his story may, or could, help offer the smallest fraction of comfort to someone. Sharing his story, sharing his pain, sharing my own pain, has the power to offer someone comfort. That has always been my hope, it's always been what keeps pulling me back to this Blog. Yet, talking to a group of community leaders about his story, sharing the story with them, it's just not the same is it? Not that I don't feel it's important to help a worthy foundation, I do! Raising funds, and awareness is one of my new 'jobs' (though not what I had planned to do with life, it's where I have landed). However, I am at a real loss as to what I should say, how I should say it. Talk about writers block!


Insights here would be helpful... any tips anyone might have on how the heck to shorten Josh's story into five minutes of 'unemotional' facts with a few thank you's thrown in is not as easy as writing to the great abyss of the Blogging world.

This new journey I am on it both exciting and very very scary!