Decisions

It would seem that just when life is settling into a comfortable routine, parenting takes a new turn. On Friday we had our first (of many I am sure) parent/teacher interviews. It was fun, Tim and I went for a quick lunch and then headed in feeling somewhat nostalgic, knowing that his was a big first for us. The teachers were so encouraging, Josh is doing really well and in many ways is ahead of his class and other 'normal' kids his age. His biggest delay is of course his speech, and second is his fine motor skills. Things that can be worked with, things that can sort themselves in time. The next step they said is JK, at a normal school which they feel he's ready for. We have choices of course, we can keep him in his placement where he is, we can send him to JK in the fall and remove him from CICC or we can do both, have him in JK in the morning and then at CICC in the afternoon. Decisions?!! It's all a little overwhelming because it's suddenly hit me how important this decision is. What if we put him up to the challenge and he loses the self confidence he has gained this year? What if we put him in our public school (not a really great one from what I am reading and hearing) and it sets him back in the future? What if we put him Catholic school? All of these things weigh in on the future, and all of them will weigh in on Kaleb's future, because where Josh goes so too will Kaleb. To say my brain is reeling is an understatement! I never got it when I was in school, I never understood the importance of a school on a kids life. The kids that go to the school, who will become friends with my kids, will have a life altering affect on my kids, will they be kids who respect their folks for the most part, or will they be kids whose parents are working overtime and not home to watch what they get into? Will the teachers be good role models and challenge them to work harder, or will they be undervalued teachers who have lost their original desire to make a difference?

Then of course there is the whole concept of my own kids, will they be leaders or followers? Will they seek friends who will bring them up or will they follow kids who bring them down? Will the boys desire to learn, will they be good influences, or trouble makers? In Josh's case, will his speech cause him to be ridiculed? Will his heart cause him to miss valuable school time? Will his newly gained self confidence be lost in the sea of kids who can rhyme off a hundred sentences a minute?

I thought the baby years were tough... I am learning that every stage is going to be filled with unsteady ground that only prayer can make solid.