Every once and awhile you see something, hear something or remember something that changes your life as you know it. It either touches some deep emotional longing, ignites a passion you didn't know you had or it brings a part of you back to life that maybe you hadn't realized was dozing for so long.
That has happened to me this week, a few moments, but it's woken up a part of me that has been sleeping, it's reminded me of days that were different, it's touched a part of my soul that has been longing and it's ignited a passion that I want back.
What happened? It started at the Baptism when my husband signed me with the cross, and called me Christ's own. That moment I heard a whisper that reminded me that I was indeed Christ's daughter, something that not so long ago was so clear to me, so alive inside of my heart, but on Sunday I realized it has been sleeping. That knowledge was deep deep in my subconscious mind and on Sunday it was woken, a seed of memory planted again. For a time in my life I refereed to myself as the Warrior Princess, a daughter of the King and warrior for Him. Now, at times I have lived more like an embatttled knight, tired, worn, beaten, and forgotten by the King while I have been away at battle. I was reminded on Sunday that I am the King's own, he won't, cannot forget me, I am His daughter, He is my Father.
The second moment this week happened on Wednesday, during our weekly Bible study. We were talking about the Holy Spirit, and Tim read a quote by J.I.Packer that went something like this...
"The Holy Spirit is the divine match maker who is so in love with Jesus that he wants you to fall in love with Him as well." (this is probably not an exact quote because I didn't write it down)This was followed up with something that a woman at our church (SK) told Tim that again is a paraphrase, she said 'The Spirit whispers sweet nothings in your ear'. I listened to this and I was reminded of a passion that I had not so long ago, a love so deep that I knew I would forever follow Him, a love so deep and real that I actually longed for Him, and would do anything he asked of me, regardless of where it would lead me.
That passion and love for Him lead me on a path to where you find me today, with all these blessings that I am surrounded by in life. Somehow, over the past few years I have spent so much time in battle, fighting, hoping, dreaming, wishing, praying for things to go my way, that I have forgotten that sometimes we are called to a different path that we planned, to travel a road we hadn't thought we would travel, and sometimes that path has thorns, sometimes it hurts. I have been so busy cutting a path for my boys and I, watching the path ahead for danger, keeping my eyes on the ground to make sure we keep our footing, that I have forgotten to look up and see the wonder of the roses at the top of those bushes, to see the love that has lead me to this beautiful place.
My heart has been reminded that it was love, divine love, that brought me here, that keeps me here, and has a destination in mind for us. I don't have a map, I don't know where we are going, but I have been reminded that I am following him with faith, and that He loves me and won't lead me astray as long as I keep my eyes on Him. My heart has been touched by the Spirit who loves Jesus so much that he wants me to love him just as much, that he is whispering sweet nothings in my ear and reminding me that he is not a King sitting on His thrown but rather, He is in battle with me, that each time this warrior princess lifts her sword it is with the King at her side giving her strength and energy to fight another day. I am Christ's own, a beloved princess of the King and I will not now or ever be forgotten.