It Tuesday October 12th... Which means that we have just celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving weekend. Now, people are stuffed, the gym is full and people are feeling more thankful (or should be anyway). Me? Well, thanksgiving didn't quite go as I had planned this year. We were headed to the cottage, Kaleb was turning one on Saturday and we were having a big party to celebrate the occasion.
Thursday after speech therapy we were to drive north, but first I had to drop something off on the East end of the city for someone. Josh cried the whole way there, he hadn't been very happy all morning and my patience was wearing a little thin. Just as I was pulling up the house where we were dropping things off he started to puke... everywhere! I quickly stripped him, then woke up a sleeping Kaleb who then started to cry and had to carry both of them and a large box into the building... what a nightmare!
Once back in the car I quickly got both back into car seats and although I debated not going to the cottage I have to admit that part of me was thinking this was just motion sickness... boy was I wrong!
By the time we pulled up to the cottage both boys were sick, runny nose, coughs and in Josh's case vomiting. By Friday morning I had the flu, Saturday morning Kaleb woke up for his first birthday and he too had a fever and flu. I think he got it the worst, or at least he was the suckiest. :) Nothing but me would do, all he wanted was snuggles but I too was sick.
We drove home after his party on Saturday night, Sunday was spent crying and fighting between the boys. The house was insanity and Mummy was about to go completely mad. Monday morning it happened, Mummy snapped. Both boys were crying, both whining for the 4th straight day, no one was happy unless I was holding them. I love my guys, I really do but sometimes I need a break. At one point I was hiding in my room being very careful not to make any noise because if Kaleb hears me he will start crying all over again. Yes, I do know how crazy I sound right now... then it hit me.
I am not thankful. Here it is, Thanksgiving day and I am hiding from my family because I am annoyed. I have no thankful spirit, no compassion. I got on my knees and thanked God for the thousands of blessings these kids bring.
I have two healthy kids, a strong and loving husband who works hard so that I can stay home and raise our boys and fulfill my dream of starting a photography business. He supports me, loves me and would do anything for me. My boys are sweet, funny, for the most part they are healthy and alive in both body and spirit. Josh is doing well and Kaleb is on track developmentally. I have everything I need, including a home that is safe and warm, friends who love me and are here for me when I need them. I have hope for a future and healing from the past. Who am I to hide in my room and moan and groan about simple frustrations?! On Thanksgiving no less?
Thank you God for the flu that brought me to this important realization this weekend.