Photographs by Laurie @ Horizons Photography

October 11, 2014

waste of time

We had the appointment with the psychologist yesterday... to put it mildly it was a total waste of time and more frustrating than trying to clean the floors with a construction crew still doing dry wall...

My goal in these appointments is not to get Josh to stop waking me up in the night; for me, that would be a nice side benefit, but my goal is to help Josh learn to cope with his anxiety and worry. If he learns now that I don't want him to come to me when he's scared or has a problem then later, when he is struggling with something what is the foundation I have built for him to come to me??

I also don't want him lying in bed worrying and being scared, and feeling totally alone while does it. We are family, we face things together; even if it means waking up in the night (as much as I hate it). So, what to do now?

My plan for the moment is to buy books - a few recommendations I've been given - and use some of those coping tips to help him myself. I could use your prayers because this is going to a journey unto itself.

The one thing I did learn, was that it is totally normal for cardiac kids to be anxious and worried about death and surgeries and their hearts. So at least Josh isn't the only child out there struggling. I am hoping to find other moms going through the same issues so that I can talk to them about their coping strategies.

We also got our sleep deprived EEG appointment... and let me tell you, when they say 'sleep deprived' they really mean it... not just the patient but the family too. Turns out that Josh and I are doing this together too... We have to put him to bed at 10 (3 hours past his normal bedtime)... then, (and this is what will hurt)... I have to wake him up at 2am and keep him awake until his appointment at 8am... I can already see the coffee cups piling up just thinking about it. I am hoping and praying that we get some answers from that appointment that we didn't get from yesterdays appointment...

I think I have a million things to do this month (quite literally) and now I am taking on learning cardiac psychology as well. I am still not better after 2 weeks of illness and (if I could have a little pitty party for a second) I am so bloody tired!

....

pity party is now over... now it's time for a brand new five year old to celebrate at his birthday party!