and the year begins...

What an interesting week it's turning into. Holidays are over, the kids are returning to school and I am once again finding that the time I thought I would have when they returned is going too fast to get a thing done. Blogging has taken a hit this year and I have to wonder how I managed it last year with Kaleb home all week and driving Josh to and from school in downtown Toronto? This January & February we are blessed to have Josh in TWO therapy sessions a week!! This is FANTASTIC news but it comes at a cost of time. Time for Kaleb, who seems to somehow always manage to get placed second to Josh's medical concerns and time for me to accomplish things I need to get done. I was spoiled this past two weeks with Tim home, my house was clean, the kids were fed properly and I met all my deadlines. Today I sat down and began to mark up my calendar with all the things that need to get done and as I sat writing on almost every square I had to sigh and take a larger sip of my coffee...

I remember once when I was a teenager thinking that I would want to be a stay at home Mom because then I wouldn't have to work. I look back on that now and cringe. What planet was I on?!?! From morning until night, no breaks and still not enough time to do all that needs and wants to get done. Even now as I write this I am scared to look at anything but the computer because the guilt will set in about all the things I still need to finish before the boys get home. Somehow the older they get, the more independent they become the more there seems to be to do.

The thing is though... and I have thought long and hard about this. What would it look like if I was working full time out side the home and not just part time as a photographer? I think my mornings are crazy now? I think my house is messy now? I can imagine coming home from work around five, having two hungry kids who need my attention because I haven't been there all day and who need to have a meal made for them, I would have a still messy house that would have to wait until the kids were in bed, I would have a non existent blog and life in general would be exhausting. As I started pondering this I realized how incredibly heroic Moms who are working full time outside the home are. I thought of my own Mom who worked through out my childhood and yet still managed to get it all done. I had to take a moment to stand up and say WOW to these women, kudos my friends you are amazing!

I also had to say a prayer of thanks that God has made it possible for me to be home with my guys, that it's possible for me to take Josh to all his many appointments without paying consequences at work. To make it possible for me to have snuggle time with Kaper after his nap, or see Josh's face light up when he teases me during lunch. Through out the last five years of motherhood I have sat many times to reflect on the blessings in my life and today is just one more of those days. The dishes from breakfast are still on the counter, the boys pj's are still on the floor and none of the beds are made but at the end of the day I am blessed to be here to do it for them.

Have a great Tuesday!
L