Transitions

Big boy ready for school...

Josh supporting his little brother on his first day

The boys are home again...

So many changes are happening in our house this past few weeks. All good of course but with change comes a certain amount of anxiety. School is a big step for Josh, JK, though still for little guys is demanding more of Josh than his last school did, he needs to rise to that challenge but it's not easy to do sometimes is it? The first few days were very hard, he didn't want me to leave him there, constantly begged me to keep him home and held onto me as if his life depended on it. He's getting stronger, older, right before my eyes. Today, with only one little look of trepidation he followed his class through the doors and didn't look back. I am so proud of him, so proud of the little man he's becoming.

Kaleb started pre-school today and according to teachers he did AWESOME! I, however, had a rough morning. The house was quieter than it's ever been and though I tried to relish in it I couldn't help but look back at the years when they were both safe and sound and under my watchful eyes. Now, though well protected for the time being they are in a sense starting to see the world outside of our home, independently making steps into boyhood. The part of me that wants my babies back is a little sad that these years passed so quickly, and the part of me who has yearned for peace for a few hours a day is excited by this new stage. Motherhood is just stuffed full of contradictory feelings isn't?

As I watch them grow I realize how every single day is a moment I do not want to miss, how each new step they make is one that I want to celebrate with them (even if it causes me to ache a bit). Not too long ago I was holding babies in my arms, the time flew by just as this stage will pass all too quickly. By the end of August I was praying for the start of school, with two bored little boys on my hands I was tearing my hair out... now it strikes me that I should have just sat back and fully enjoyed the moment.

All this said though... I have a clean house and  refreshed soul from the time of listening to my music LOUDLY while cleaning. There is a part of me who could get used to this quickly!