a bigger chair

Josh at 6 weeks

 Yesterday I dropped Josh off for his last day of school. It seems like I was just posting  to say that he had attended his first day of school... time does fly. Josh has had a lot of firsts this week, and as I watch him grow and learn I am also in a nostalgic head space. This little kid used to fit in one arm, at only four pounds when he was released from hospital he was all skin and no fat. I remember being excited with every pound he gained, and telling everyone who asked how big he was now. The first night we had Josh home from the hospital he slept in the bassinet we had set up in the living room, Tim and I were watching a show and he was so quiet that I actually said to Tim... 'it's like we don't have a baby, this baby thing is easy'. Now I look back on that blissful sleepy newborn and think that it's God's way of showing you what the eye of the hurricane looks like so that you don't need to chase down a storm and get hurt. I remember walking around the neighbourhood, him resting happily on my chest in the baby bjorn. As he grew and discovered his legs and would bounce until he fell asleep in the jolly jumper, or the sweet way he would use his whole hand to hang onto my pinky finger. He was just sweet. He's had bumps in the road, we all know that, but aside from that he has grown into a warm, friendly, happy and caring little man. He is a big brother who protects his brother from bullies, who if his brother is hurt will kiss the ouchie better. His heart is enlarged, but he's also got a huge heart. Two different things I assure you.

As I mentioned, a few things happened this week that have sent me into this time of memories. First, Josh began the process of learning to pee while standing (great for him but not my bathroom!) It's so fun to see his look of pride when he says he 'pees big boy Mummy'.  The second happened when he weighed in at the hospital this week and we discovered he was officially able to move to a booster seat and toss the car seat. He loves that new seat! He points to Kaleb's car seat and say's 'baby seat, Kaper' and then with pride he points to his own and says 'I sit big boy chair'. Looking at him in the rear view mirror and seeing him sitting there in his little seat, with a seat belt wrapped around him makes me wonder where the years went. He's getting so big so fast.

Then, after school finished for the final time of the year, Daddy picked up Josh for a Father/Son camping trip. Josh's first. They went 'Urban camping' which means they slept in a tent on the ground in a campground but first they had pizza in a restraunt and attempted a movie. Tim called last night to say goodnight and he put Josh on the phone... and the coolest thing happened! I had a conversation with my son! No kidding! He told me that they had gone for a walk 'in the jungle' which is Josh speak for the forest. Then he said he had pizza, went to the movie to which he added 'last too long' so I asked if the movie was boring and he said yes. Then he said he'd been to the park and then in sincere chivalry he said he was going to sleep and 'Mummy go sleep too'. It wasn't perfect sentences, there were words missing and some of the words I needed to ask him to repeat... but in all. I knew what my son was telling me about his day. We had no form of non verbal communication tools, he made me understand him with words alone. 

So my guy is growing up on me, and it's beautiful to watch. Every new achievement is something we celebrate, every new milestone both bitter sweet. I am blessed enough to still have Kaleb who is younger so I haven't totally let go of the toddler years yet but I guess the time will come when this post will be about him finishing school for the first time too. I will soon be missing his baby years the way I am now missing Josh's. Kaleb was a sweet baby, still is.

They may grow up on me, they may gain weight and find themselves in bigger chairs but even when they are old and grey they will be my babies.

Josh at 4.5