Photographs by Laurie @ Horizons Photography

November 16, 2011

who knew it was a prayer?

From the old journals

I want to be needed, wanted, protected
I want to feel passion.
I want to love with my whole heart.
I want to know without doubt
that there is someone out there
who things I am the sunshine to all his rainy days.
I want to be held in safe arms
when it's dark and I am afraid.
I want strong fingers 
to wipe my tears when they fall.
When I am cold I want his heat,
When I am hurt I want his worry
When I laugh I want his joy
When I dream I want his faith.
I want his gentle fingers
to touch my cheek in the morning
with a smile in his eyes
I want him to wake me.
I want to be free
to be myself and to be loved anyway.
I want to know that despite it all
he will not leave.

I looked back on this particular poem and I can remember exactly where I was, what I was thinking about and how I was feeling. It's actually quite a beautiful memory. I was sitting in the glasshouse, high up on the castle wall, looking out over the Austrian Alps with snow capped mountains, a fire was going so I was nice and warm and I had a glass of nice red wine. I didn't know it then, but this poem was being heard as I wrote it. As it turns out, God heard me and he gave me everything I wanted, everything I dreamed of in this poem. I didn't know it then, but this was a prayer and he answered it. I serve a God who hears me even when I am not talking directly to him... :)