Waiting for him

I imagine a place that is so stunning, so real and honest and pure that our hearts will be full to bursting, I imagine that it will house the splendor of all creation, without it’s quirks, without it’s struggles, hurts, anger, prejudice, without it’s sorrow and grief or rejection. I imagine a world where we are valued, loved beyond our imaginations, where our hearts are whole, where are breathes come naturally, where we can look around us and see eternity as our landscape. I imagine a place where wrongs are never held against you, where everyone is so loved that we never fear abandonment, where we are fully redeemed, fully alive and no longer shackled to our fears and pain and worry. I imagine a place where the future, forever, is beautiful, something to look forward to. Where hope is not necessary because everything you could ever imagine, ever dream is already yours. I imagine a place where the Throne room to the King of Kings is open to all, and that same King is always waiting there to ravish you with his love, affection and attention. I imagine a dream never being dreamt because you are already living beyond your wildest dreams. A place where your children run, through fields of wildflowers, laughing and giggling, forever free of the hurts, the pain, the fears or the frustrations that they feel, a place where we don’t need to look over our shoulders, wondering what is coming up from behind to attack. I imagine a light; so infinitely rare and beautiful that is literally beyond description.  I imagine a place where the old are considered wise, they are respected and loved and where we all beat the same heart beat. I imagine a world where the storms, the earthquakes, the financial trials, the political strife, the racism, the injustice, the aching of a nation are no more. I imagine a place that welcomes us, holds a place for us and celebrates our arrival with a feast.

Dare I say I long for it?

There have been only three moments in my life where I have actually wished Jesus would just come already. I am usually so caught up in my life that I think ‘not yet Lord, I am not finished yet’ but tonight, as I watched the storm brewing in the sky; lightning forks, sheets of rain, thunder loud enough to wake Kaleb, and fresh tears from heaven I had to ask ‘will you come soon?’ Will you just come soon? Please, come soon!

To arrive at the door of heaven, to bow before the King in fear and reverence, only to be touched on the shoulder and helped up by the hand of Jesus is something I would really long for. To see Joshua running through the streets laughing and without pain, to see Kaleb eat whatever he wanted without risk of death. Oh how I long to see this place.

To hear the answers to my questions, or maybe to see the entire plan laid out for me so that I have no questions left, what a gift it would be. To have no need for faith because it’s all there, out in the open for me to see. To know without question that every single thing in my life has been filtered through the hands of a loving God who made me and has a plan for me, that those same loving hands took great time, love and care when making my sons, and planning and preparing their lives for them.

Yes, wouldn’t it be something to see, something to live; an entire eternity of love, and an entire eternity with no suffering. New bodies made whole, new hearts made brand new. 

I suck at telling people about my faith, I don’t lie about it, but I find it hard to talk to people who don’t understand it, but I pray for them, I pray for you; even if I don’t know you, that when my times comes, or if Jesus kindly took us first, that when I get there and you too will be there so that I can enjoy an eternity of getting to know and love you.

I have said this before and I will say it again. I do not know what tomorrow holds for me or Josh, Kaleb and Tim, but I know what eternity holds for my family. I am assured of that, that is a promise I can understand and bank on.  There will not be a doctor who says ‘I don’t know, it’s a wait and see’. No, it was a freely given promise made reality by the death of a son on a cross two thousand years ago. Whatever tomorrow holds, I have that to hang onto.

I am fast realizing that my job as a Christian mother is not so much about their manners, if they are clean or not, if they go to the right after school programme (though admittedly these are something I should teach them). My biggest responsibility as their mother is to make sure that one day, when they go, that they will go to the arms of Jesus and welcomed home.

Heart defects or not, allergies or not, one day they will be whole and healthy and free of all pain, suffering, hurts, anger and sorrow. I will await them with open arms, tears on my face, love in my heart.