After taking a bid deep breath yesterday I closed my eyes and hit send and my post went live; having opened up I felt raw and exposed and very very nervous about the possible response I would receive. I didn't want to look at the responses that I was receiving, the texts, the emails, the messages on Facebook because the bandage being ripped off my silence left me feeling so exposed. I have to admit that when I finally did look; when I finally opened the messages I was so comforted by the responses I read. So many people who are in similar spots, so many people with the same struggles, so many people who offered comfort, prayers, love. I am realizing how little credit I have given the people in my life and the world in general. It all seems so silly really, given I know myself I wouldn't think less of someone if they told me what I told you yesterday. Thank you all for the love and show of support and acceptance. I needed that more than you can know. Sometimes I feel very 'unknown' and there is a part of me today, though still feeling rather exposed, that feels a little more known.
This is a journey that so many are on and while I take comfort in knowing I am not alone I find it a sad thought, to know how many others are feeling the weight of what I am feeling. Many people said 'you are not alone; I understand' and so now I say that to you. You are not alone, I understand.
More to come, but not today. My brain needs a break today; I just wanted to say thank you for your kindness, compassion and gentle response to my post yesterday. It has helped.