Observing

Sometimes I have to just stand still and observe... it's not my norm. I prefer to keep moving, action is what gets us places right? However, 4 weeks ago, after hearing that Josh will not be a assessed by Bloorview I was forced to rethink my actions. I had tried everything and nothing was working, I felt alone and scared and had literaly worried myself sick over Josh's situation. I ached to help him but how?

Tim said to me... Laurie, you have done all that you can, it's time to stop and wait to see what happens. That was hard to hear, who wants to just stop working to help their kid. However, as I drove to the cottage that day the boys were unusally quiet, Kaleb asleep and Josh content to watch the scenery go by. The car was terribly quiet so I began to pray, earnestly, and I discovered a peace in that quiet car. So I decided that I would do NOTHING until September when I could again begin to bug the school board for help. In the mean time I would just enjoy the boys for who they are, love them as they are not how I wanted them to be. Could I be content with Josh as he was? Could I find peace with him never being fully able to speak. What I found was this...

YES!! He's a delight! I also found that in the waiting and stillness I was better able to see his gains rather than all the ways he's still so far behind. With no doctors telling me his deficits I was able to see all that is right with Josh and how far he's come. This week he's said a number of 4 and 5 word sentences, and is starting to show an amazing imagination. 

One day he is Captain Hook stealing Peter Pan's shadow (Kaper is Pan) and another day he is a doggie running at my feet. He hands me imaginary ice cream cones, and shares his NEED of ice cream. He 'needs' many things these days... like special special presents and trips to Disney and always a deep need to go to the toy store to find that toy he likes. "I like it Mummy, want go to toy store'.

This all in a week of me observing.

This week has also shown me that though I have stopped working on this, God it seems has not. I have had a number of emails this week of people who want to help. Some who have contacts here and there and who want to help. So, though it goes against the grain I am waiting. God is healing him, of that there is no doubt and he's moving and working in the people who read this Blog and care about our son.

L