February 20, 2011
Something jumped out at me, something that of course I need to share with you all. Joshua (the spy and new leader of Israel, not my kid) is walking on the plains of Jericho when he meets a man, he greets him and discovers that this man is actually a messenger of God... his first reaction? He bows low to the ground and asks what the Lord has to say to him...
I read this bit at a glance, just skipping along as if nothing had happened, but a few sentences later my eyes flicked back to it. He bows low and asks what the Lord has to say to him? This is new to me. Bows low? When do I, have I, would I ever bow low before God in ultimate surrender and reverence. This is GOD, the Lord of the earth, King of Kings, and when I speak with him I struggle to keep my eyes closed (or open if it's bed time). I rush through the prayer and never ever do I start with bowing low, removing my sandals because I am on Holy ground... never. This saddens me deeply, that it's taken me this many years to see him for what he is, and to see myself for what I am. The truth in his honesty the other night is stunningly clear. I do not bow, I don't worship truly. I am not in awe of this the King of Kings.
The second thing that Joshua did was to ask, 'what is it you the Lord would say to me?'. I shutter again because I can't remember the last time one of my prayers started with 'Talk to me God, what are you saying to me?'... Rather it is more commonly a plea or a request for help, a small word of thanks and then skip right down the nitty gritty of my Christmas list... Please God, do this, or that, help me here, or there... please God... When did the God I serve change from being the Lord of Lords that Joshua bowed low in awe and reverence of become a Santa Clause that we go to in times of want or need?
Not too long ago I blogged about prayers, with questions like 'do I pray everyday for him to answer something?'... I read it now and cringe. My heart aches with the knowledge of how small I have made my God, how little I have actually allowed him to do in my life because I simply wasn't asking him to talk to me. I long to be back in his full and glorious presence where I am so in awe of him that I can do nothing but bow low and worship Him.