solar powered girl

I typically hate cold weather... anything below a comfortable 15 degrees is too cold. I admit, I am a wimp when it comes to cold. I hate it. There is nothing more comforting to me than feeling the warmth of the sun on my shoulders, it eases tension and gives me new life. So you can understand why this winter is starting to wear thin. I am so cold that I am beginning to wonder if I might ever thaw; in all honesty I have considered cramming myself into the microwave for a five minute defrost. Today, as I was getting ready to go back out into the arctic chill to pick Kaleb up from school I actually felt like crying. I am so tired of layering! I hate socks, I hate boots, I hate the look of multiple hoodies under my coat, I hate shoving my hair into a hat, I hate mittens, I HATE winter.

Tomorrow is MARCH and I think that at this point it's fair to say that mother nature is just being mean. It's no longer cute, it's not funny, it's no longer something that I can even pretend will be over in a few weeks... I am starting to think it might never end! Has a new ice age begun? Is this hell, and has it finally frozen over? What did the sun feel like last summer? I can't remember?! The suns rays are now just a vague misty, hazy memory, like a smell that takes you back to a pleasant feeling but you can't place the actual memory.What did it feel like to decide that you want to go out, and you just did. No coat, no boots, no mittens, no hat, not layers! What did it feel like to walk on pavement, or grass? I am so used to the ice now that I no longer need to navigate it carefully... I just march on past it with my head tucked low so the wind won't freeze the tears in my eyes, tears that don't come from emotion, just cold, and wind! What did it feel like to walk in the sand? Hot sand slipping between my toes? What do hot muggy days feel like? I can't remember!!

Every morning Josh asks if it's spring yet... every morning I tell him soon with hope but little expectation. It's wearing on me... my soul is thirsty for the sun! I am a solar powered girl and my batteries are running desperately low.

I had to vent, I just had to rant about this winter because if I don't rant, if I don't make my feeling known I might just explode! I am SO done with winter!