good reports.. tough decisions

Have you ever had one of the moments where you sat and listened to good news, great reports, but at the very same time you feared what it meant? Wondered what comes next or even wished you weren't hearing it?

I had one of those days this past week. I went to Bloorview to meet with the teachers and therapists who are and have been working with Josh since September. The reports were amazing. He no longer needs OT, or PT and his language is finally gaining some ground. All of this is great news!! However (and by the first paragraph you should have known the however was coming), they aren't sure that they are the best place for Joshua anymore. They don't feel he is being challenged enough, and they don't want to 'clip his wings'. This is awesome news, and it's what I have been praying for in many ways; but the truth is I am left with 'what's next?'. As a parent who can see where his weaknesses are, who can see how much this school has done for Josh, who can see how much he LOVES this school, I am feeling a little lost for direction.

The school is NOT kicking him out, they have told us that the ball is in our court and if we decide to leave him for his second year (it's a two year program) then they will do whatever they can to challenge him; but is that what is best for him?

Next week (Wednesday) we will head to Sick Kids for a full neuro-psych test to learn where he is at, where he's gained and what still lacks. From there, we will need what's called an IPRC meeting to see what programs may be good for him from this point. What it means for Josh, is more transitions, more changes both now, and in the years to come. Depending on where they try to place him he will go to a new school next year, and then every year following they will do a follow up IPRC to see if the program is still fitting for him, if they decide it's not, if they at some point decide that he's ready for a full public school experience then he will again move to another school.

Change isn't easy for Josh, it's not easy for most of us, but it's particularly hard for Josh. It also means more years of not being in the same school as Kaleb, which makes it harder for me.

So now I am trying to sort out Kaleb's school problems as well as Joshua's. I keep wondering... when will things slow down? When will life just be 'status quo' for just a little while...

I am tired.